What is your ‘go to’ way to cope with stress? Perhaps you are someone who focuses on the problem itself. You might be someone who finds solace in focusing on the practical solutions to the situation. On the other hand, you may be someone who pays greater attention to dealing with the emotions created by the stressful events. You might feel that dealing with the emotions helps you see things in a clearer perspective. Perhaps you use both strategies?
The Research…
Research (Lazarus and Folkman, 1984) has distinguished between two types of coping that we use when faced with stressful situations.
We call then coping styles because each one has a particular focus on coping with stress. They are called problem focused and emotion focused coping.
Problem Focused: Tackling the particular things that has been causing the stress. Often thought of as the practical solution. It asks the question: “What can be done practically to cope with the situation?”
Emotion Focused: Tackling the emotions that are being created by the stressful situation. The focus is on reducing the emotional stress response. It asks the question: “Is how I’m feeling helping? What would be a more helpful way to respond to this?”
Double the benefit…
Clearly both coping styles are have their benefits. Using problem focused strategies are useful when the practical solutions are easily identifiable. When clear decisions need to be made, or when the individual knows what needs to happen (no matter how difficult) dealing with the problem directly is often most helpful.
Focusing on the problem and the possible practical actions to solve it, has the added benefit of giving us a greater sense of control over the situation. Being proactive allows us to take control of the stress response, which inevitably has the effect of reducing the emotions created by the situation.
Emotion focused coping is much more helpful when the situation is more ambiguous and cannot be dealt with easily in a practical way. It’s also helpful when the practical solutions are not immediately solved.
Focusing on the emotional response to the situation first, also has the benefit of creating a stronger feeling of control over the situation. When our emotions are heightened, we are unable to think clearly about the practical solutions. By focusing on reducing the negative emotional response, we can think more clearly and problem focused coping strategies are easier to use.
Some Examples…
Alex has applied for a new job. It is a promotion and one that he is more capable of doing, but he is not always the most confident person and has a tendency to be self-deprecating. It has taken a lot to even apply for the job. He is feeling stressed by the prospect of the interview.
He decides to do a few things to help:
He spends time preparing for the interview, highlighting from his application letter the particular things he wants to draw attention to. He sets aside time in his week to brainstorm the skills and experience he thinks are particularly useful and that he can expand on in the interview. He researches the company and their mission statement making notes about how he could show he would fit well into the company. All of this is focused on the causes of the stress (problem focused).
Alex also uses a relaxation app on his phone to practise some breathing exercises. These help him feel calm. During the week he reminds himself of the calming words from the relaxation, which helps him feel more positive about the interview. Emotion focused, helping him feel more positive.
As part of his preparations, Alex’s girlfriend runs through some mock questions for the interview. The rehearsing helps him realise that he can answer the questions which increases his self-confidence. His girlfriend also challenges the negative things he says about the interview process to help him see that he can be successful. This includes emotion and problem focused coping strategies. It also includes social support, which is particularly helpful when dealing with stress.
Social Support: the magic bullet to coping with stress…
Perhaps unsurprisingly, having support from others is beneficial whichever style of coping you prefer. Support from friends and family can come from them having a different perspective of the problem. They are not emotionally involved in the situation which means they can be a good sounding board for the possible solutions (enhancing problem focused coping).
The support from your friendship group also helps you cope with the emotions you feel as a result of the stressful situation. You talk about them and, as the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved. This helps you think through things more clearly and decide on appropriate action: social support enhancing both emotion and problem focused coping.
Interesting to note… that research (Kiecolt-Glasner et. al., 1984) showed that the higher stress someone experienced, the more likely they were to have a reduced immune system response (NK cell activity), which goes some way to explaining stress related illness.
But also… a lack of social support contributed to that negative effect: the lower social support, the lower NK cell activity.
Application: What are the lessons?
- If the situation has created a HIGH level of emotion, this should be dealt with FIRST. Excess emotion will stop you being able to identify the practical actions that need to be taken. The emotion stops you seeing ‘the wood for the trees’!
- STOP! Take stock of what practical actions you could take to deal with the situation. It doesn’t matter how small the actions are, they will take you away from the catastrophising of the situation and focus on what can be done right now. Take your time deciding what action needs to be taken, remember problem focused coping should not be led by the emotions of the moment.
- What emotions have been created? STOP and deal with those. Calm down, and ask yourself if your emotional response is accurate given the situation. What social support have you at your disposal? Run the problem past someone else and see what they think. They are not feeling the same emotions that you are, they will no doubt see it in a way that you are unable to at that moment.
Benefit of combing Hypnotherapy and Coaching Techniques
Coaching provides you with a sounding board to discuss, organise and activate different ways of dealing with stressful situations. Working together we identify the most useful and effective ways for you to take the steps towards tackling the problem.
Through a supportive and personalised approach we work together to put in place the necessary elements that will help you to focus overcoming the current obstacle.
I will introduce you to the use of hypnosis as a tool to help maximise your efforts. Learning how to use focused relaxation and real positive suggestion, you can acquire the skills of how to re-programme your thinking and challenge the obstacles which have previously prevented you from succeeding.
Hypnosis is a great way of dealing with the emotions created by stressful situations, and when combined with coaching techniques, you are able to act on the practical solutions to deal with the stresses in your life.
For a free initial consultation call 01536 350328 or visit www.ketteringhypnotherapy.com
References
Lazarus, R.S. and Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, Appraisal, and Coping. New York: Springer
Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K., Garner, W., Speicher, C.E., Penn, G.M., Holliday, J. and Glaser, R. (1984). Psychosocial modifiers of immunocompetence in medical students. Psychosomatic Medicine, 46, 7-14
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