It all began a month or so before lockdown when I noticed how many sleep aids there were in the chemist. That same week I had four people contact me for help with sleep problems.
This made me ask myself:
“What does psychological research and Hypnotherapy tell us about getting a good nights sleep?”
A positive psychological approach focuses on what makes people healthy rather than unhealthy. Instead of looking at the behaviour of someone who is struggling to get a good nights sleep, we should focus on the person who frequently sleeps well. How is the behaviour different? Can we copy it?
I began teaching people to use these psychological techniques alongside Hypnosis to nudge their sleep pattern. I was pleased to see the differences that could be made…but more people are needed to really see how effective it could be.
Fancy a challenge?
You need to apply the principles for the next three weeks and review the changes to your to sleep.
Each principle usually takes only seven days to apply and you add the next principle the following week.
Working through each stage you acquire the skills to undo the unhelpful behaviour you have been battling with and replace it with a positive alternative.
You can also boost the results by adding a face to face Hypnotherapy session too.
The 3 Better Sleep Principles
Wait… to maximise your success pick a time when you feel motivated. The more determined and focused you are the better. Grab that moment when you feel positive and determined and go for it!
Expectation
Task: Challenge the expectation that you will not sleep.
Expectations are made up of our thoughts, experience and external information. In other words, what you think will happen, what has happened before and what other’s tell you is going to happen.
We prime our behaviour based on previous experience: I couldn’t get to sleep last night.
The experience creates a narrative in our thoughts to explain what happened: It must’ve been because I had coffee before I went to bed.
The thought is justified by external information: That website said that drinking coffee in the evening can keep you awake.
The explanations we create for ourselves are our thoughts. Those thoughts become a template for our mind to use the next time we are in a similar situation.
Imagine our sleep-deprived person has, for example, a cup of coffee in the evening; they have a sinking feeling. The template created in their mind last time is activated: Oh no, I shouldn’t have had coffee. I won’t sleep now.
The thought and the template from before act as powerful suggestion: they are not going to sleep. When they struggle to sleep, that template is reinforced for next time.
Unconscious suggestion and conditioning are achieved because an individual expects that something is going to happen. Each time that expectation is proved correct (through experience) it is reinforced and they behave in ways that maintain the expectation.
For example, they avoid drinking coffee in the evening to prevent it affecting their sleep.
Unconscious and Auto-Suggestion
The unconscious mind is listening out for instructions (suggestions). Its desire is that you should have optimal functioning and is busy making sure that happens. All those automatic functions are controlled by your unconscious. We don’t consciously think about our heart beating or our kidneys working, it just happens.
Even though you unconscious has got millions of tasks to complete every fraction of a second, it still has one ‘ear’ on the suggestions you create. It is paying attention to the instructions you give it. The thoughts we have and the behaviours we engage become the instructions (suggestions) for future automatic behaviours.
There is a problem… it is too busy for the nuances of language. It is very black and white in the suggestions it acts upon. There are no grey areas. It either does or doesn’t.
But…that’s okay our thoughts are always clear and our experience is never ambiguous, right? Hmmm, maybe not.
Our unconscious also doesn’t process negative suggestions. Negatives don’t stick in our have a rebound effect on us, regardless of what we consciously desire.
The Law of Reversed Effort
When there is a mismatch between what we want to happen and what we imagine will happen, the imagination always wins. So… you want to sleep well but you imagine (expect) not to and the imagination wins; you struggle to sleep.
The task is to change you expectations to a strong belief that you will sleep well. Remember the person who routinely sleeps well does not spend time thinking about whether they will sleep tonight, they know they will. What they want to happen matches what they expect/imagine will happen; so it does.
Proactive Thinking
While challenging your expectations you will spend quite a bit of time considering the suggestions you give your unconscious. This happens in a number of ways, but there are a few that you will need to consider closely:
- What we think informs the way we feel and the actions we take. The language that we use needs to be given careful consideration. It makes sense that if you tell yourself you are going to struggle to sleep, then chances are you will. The idea gives birth to the idea. So …
Task: Catch the thoughts you have about sleeping and check they are not fuelling the idea that you will struggle to sleep
- You will also need to reword the thought. Negatives are a no-no! Any time you think about sleep, the thought should be a positively phrased statement of what we expect to happen. It is important to think about what is going to happen rather than what isn’t. A subtle difference but it makes all the difference. Have a look at these examples:
“I don’t want to be awake all night again.” or “I won’t keep waking up tonight.”
On a first glance both thoughts seem positive but these thoughts are focused on what we don’t want to happen. It would be more useful to think about what we do want to happen.
“Tonight I will enjoy deep, sound sleep.”
“I will sleep through and feel refreshed in the morning”
Task: Change the thoughts into proactive, positive language. You may find you are doing quite a bit at first, but catch and edit as many as you can
- Once you are thinking more proactively and positively about sleep, you will need to check that external things are not adding to a negative expectation of poor sleep. This is as subtle as the language and one that most of my clients find the most useful.
Sticking with the idea that we are aiming to imitate the behaviour of the person who does not have a problem sleeping, challenge yourself to put all sleep aids in the draw for the duration of the challenge.
An exception: If you have a condition such as sleep apnoea and use aids to assist with that condition, then you must continue to use that aid.
However…if you usually put essential oil on you pillow to help you sleep, leave it in the draw for the next three weeks. If you have been reading a self help guide (this one excluded!) on better sleep put it back on the bookshelf for the time being. If you would have avoided coffee or that glass of wine in the evening then enjoy a cup or glass if you want one for the next few weeks.
The challenge is to behave in the same way as someone who sleeps well. They don’t read books about sleep, or use sleep aids, because they don’t have a sleep problem.
I would argue that engaging in those behaviours is a very powerful suggestion to the unconscious that you are not going to sleep. Why would you use those sleep aids unless you struggled to sleep? By inference, they suggest that you are going to struggle to sleep.
Task: Put away the usual sleep aids unless they are for a medical condition
Stress and Anxiety
Task: Apply relaxation techniques to manage stress and anxiety that may be an obstacle to good sleep.
The link between stress and poor sleep is hardly surprising. The bodies way of dealing with stress is called The Fight or Flight Response.
When our brain perceives that there is a threat in our environment, our nervous system is organised to release hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, which prepare us to either deal with the stress head on (fight) or facilitate us getting away from it (flight).
Physical changes occur as a result of the fight or flight response. Heart rate increases, the bronchial tubes dilate to allow more oxygen into the blood. The pupils dilate to let more light in through our eyes; all the better for seeing the threat. The liver releases glycogen so that we have more energy. All non-emergency biological functions are reduced and energy and focus is directed at dealing with the stress.
The longer the individual is experiencing stress, the longer these functions are happening, and chronic stress has negative implications for our long-term health. The stress hormones have an arousing effect on the body, preparing us for action not sleep. So…
The more stress we are experiencing the more the body continues to produce stress hormones and our body is kept alert rather than relaxed for sleep.
It may be useful to think of stress as external. The pressures in our lives add to our mental load. Work, relationships, financial concerns, health worries, for example, are identifiable external stresses even if we might struggle to manage them.
“That stresses me out…but I can’t do anything about it”
Think of anxiety as internal stress. LINK TO POST Stress that originates in you mind, an unconscious stress. Anxiety means you feel on-edge, fearful or depressed. It shows itself in symptoms like phobias and panic attacks. It can have a negative effect on physical conditions.
Even when life seems to be treating you kindly and those things that would usually stress you out have reduced, you still feel anxious. Anxiety means your body is constantly in a state of alert. The stress response is being activated continually and adrenaline and cortisol are also having the arousing effect on the body.
How many times have you felt like you ‘couldn’t switch off’ from everything that was going on?
What action should I take?
Accumulate your ability to relax with ease. This will help to mediate the effects of stress and underlying anxiety. The idea is to manage the stress and anxiety have become an obstacle when you sleep.
In Principle One I recommended avoiding methods that you use to sleep, but you may be aware that I didn’t mention the various apps and calm techniques or meditation. In terms of this challenge, if they help you relax (regardless of sleep) then that’s great.
Guided relaxation, whether it be through self-hypnosis, meditation to mindfulness will help you to accumulate you ability (and belief) to relax.
Key Point: In terms of this challenge I suggest you avoid using them specifically at bedtime. See them as a relaxation training exercise not as an aid to sleep. Grab a little time to use them away from bedtime and trust in the fact you are developing the ability to relax and naturally enjoy deep, sound sleep.
Why is this a key point? We continue to imitate the behaviour and beliefs of the person who sleeps well. They do not use such relaxation aids directly in relation to their sleep. They may use them for relaxation and self-development, but not because of a sleep problem, so we do the same.
The face-to-face programme includes a personally tailored Hypnosis session which also includes post-hypnotic suggestions to increase your ability to relax.
What if I don’t usually use guided relaxation?
Could you give it a try? Alternatively, you could simply consider what kind of activity helps you relax and build that into your day as frequently as your schedule allows.
One client would plan to go for a walk during the day. The time away from her desk allowed her to stop and relax. She was careful to make sure that it didn’t become stressful trying to fit it in to a busy day, but as saw the benefit, she soon was marking it in her diary with the same importance as a business meeting.
Remember the key is to acquire the ability to relax. Learn to relax in a way that works for you. It could be reading, catching up with the TV programme or even chatting with a friend. Relaxing isn’t about sleeping, it’s a way to manage the stress and anxieties that keep your body and mind occupied when you go to bed.
Anxiety and Hypnoanalysis
When anxieties are a particular problem and affect more than just your ability to sleep, you could consider Analytical Hypnotherapy (Hypnoanalysis). Working to resolve the underlying stubborn anxieties often results in improved sleep. Contact me direct to find out more at www.ketteringhypnotherapy.com
Pre-existing Conditions
Task: Consider if there are other reasons you might struggle to sleep and seek help
It is easy to become frustrated, particularly when you are sleep deprived, so it is important to take a moment to review other reasons your sleep is disturbed. Sometimes, I notice, clients have not thought about the logical reasons for their sleep problem which can be an obstacle to their efforts.
When a person is suffering with chronic pain, on-going mental health conditions and even the menopause, there is quite often a reasonable explanation for their sleeping problem. Seeking advice from your doctor is a proactive step. In some cases Hypnotherapy can help manage the situation and support you to better sleep. You are being proactive to review your situation and seek out the assistance you need.
Key Point: You may still benefit from principals one and two, but results may differ because of those pre-existing conditions. The key it to be proactive: apply the principles and review the results, ask for help where required rather than stopping altogether. Believe that you can benefit from challenging unhelpful expectations around sleep. Take control of the progress you make and take control of asking for support when it would help.
Take the Challenge: Two Options:
- Apply the principles yourself. The information is here for free, but it would great to know how you got on! Let me know!
- Maximise the challenge with the support of a face-to-face Hypnotherapy session. We work through the principals together and combine them with Hypnosis so you learn how to relax easily.
KO Coaching 